You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
