We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
