I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
