I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
