She said her name was "party"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
