Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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