what day is it and did you see me today?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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