lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
