I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
