I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
