You smell like stripper and shame
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
