So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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