That's when you crack a 10am beer
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
