I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
