so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
