sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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