hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
