while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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