I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
