im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Its about making memories worth repressing
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
