The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize