6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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