omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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