last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
