You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I am mentally ready for anal.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
