I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I will die if light touches me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
