2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
