VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Randomize
