It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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