Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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