Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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