i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
