2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
