you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
