did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize