Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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