ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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