I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
