Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i think i just lost a toe
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
