my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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