Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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