i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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