You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
