I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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