I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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