But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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