TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
