One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
