You really coming over, don't trick.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..