Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.