i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
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I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
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I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies