did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
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He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
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When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.