if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Plan B is the new Plan A
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize