Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
