I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
