I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
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just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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