D3 body, D1 cock
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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