It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
