I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
